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Pain is guaranteed, Healing is Optional!

March 14, 201213 Comments

Pain is like one the universal experiences in life;not only because of how it impacts us all, but in the fact that we all will experience it.  Particularly, we all have or will experience hurt from betrayal at the hands of a friend whose words have cut us deeply. Being “stabbed in the back”, humiliated and or devastated by someone we know is an all to common phenomenon.  Pain and hurt is a straw we’ll all pull in life, but healing is not guaranteed, you have to choose it.

When the dust has settled, the liar/attacker has fled, and you don’t have to defend yourself anymore, its time to choose healing.  It can almost seem unfair that you can be innocent and injured by lies and deceit and left alone to do all the work of getting yourself back together. I’m not saying its fair, but I know we have to do it.  I’m not going to ignore God’s role in this, but I want to emphasis our actions that we have to take to bring healing along more intentionally, than if we just stewed in it.

We have to deal with our thinking…

I’ve been hurt, in fact recently, I know the temptation to replay the situation in our heads, over and over.  I’ve found myself, planning in my mind, what I’m going to say next, or continually repeating what I said and wondering why I didn’t say this or that. Or thinking about what they called me, or going over their lies again and again in astonishment.  The situation can play over and over, like a marathon showing of “Mash”. It can take up every bit of your minds resources, leaving room for nothing else.

This is dangerous, because our minds are being hijacked by this past event and we’re not living in the moment.  The first thing I’ve realized when my thinking is like this, is that my replaying of the event is not doing anything!  I’m not changing the past, and often I am not doing anything of value in the present.  Furthermore, when we are re-filtering negative words, lies, or accusations through our minds and hearts over and over, its the equivalent of running waste water to our faucets, and taking cup after cup, because those words are poison and if we continually digest them, we’re only committing self-inflicted injury.

To eliminate this crippling cycle we have to do several things.  First, pray it all out; tell God all of it, tell Him how much it hurts, tell Him how betrayed you feel, cry, whatever, let it all out before our loving Father.  You can also journal, I’ve found this to be helpful.  The least helpful at this point is to talk with someone else, because at this point we’ve probably talked enough. There’s no law against it, your situation might need it, but sometimes we’re just trying to get people to understand, or to be on our side, when really we need to go to God and start the process of healing.

Next, we have to take those thoughts captive to Jesus.  This is part of our weaponry to battle the attacks on our minds, “bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Co 10:5) Jesus is meant to rule over our minds and hearts in peace, not those chaotic thoughts.  Every time the thought comes up, a quick prayer to God can bring them to a halt, we have to learn to cry out to Jesus during those times.  You might find yourself praying every few minutes, but I tell you it’s better to be praying than to be numbed and dazed because your mind is being ruled by this injurious situation.  Remember, we were given a spirit of love, power and of a sound mind, so that our thoughts would not run out of control or kill us. (2 Tim 1:7)

We have to fill our minds with good material. Phil 4:8 says to think on these things, “…whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just…” Now as we filter good things, true things through our hearts and minds, we can began to experience a sense of peace, control over our minds, and healing. We need to encourage ourselves in the Lord, knowing that He can empathize with us.  This is also the time to memorize more scripture, and to listen to a good sermon, or to listen to scripture inspired music, and these things we should replay over and over in our minds.

I am not writing this out of theory, but out being in the “fox-holes” of life and having experienced hurt and betrayal by people close to me. There will be a second part to this that will give some more sound steps to dealing with the hurt.  I pray that this will strengthen you, encourage you, and aid you as you or someone you know deals with the pain we experience in this life.  In Jesus name, Amen.


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  1. The Choices that Heal Us « Klarion Kall | March 15, 2012
  1. Olive Twist says:

    This is a lovely lesson, and one that I paid a heavy price to learn. It sounds like you have paid it too…It is so liberating when we learn to forgive and take charge of our thoughts with the help of the Holy Ghost.

  2. This is encouraging to read because we have all had to forgive others who have sinned against us. For me, it helps to have a correct view of the depth of my own sin. If I am that great of a sinner (and I am!) and God’s grace is big enough to cover sins as grievous as mine, than His grace is big enough to more than cover the sins of others against me. And who am I not to forgive when I have been forgiven so much?

    Does that make sense?

    By the way, thank you for visiting my blog. Blessings to you!

  3. It seems like we’ve been working off of the same page these days.

    I love this for where I’ve been. I lost my youngster hockey team yesterday due to lies and hate, I didn’t lift up a defense to the liars who attacked me.

    I really needed this.

    Thank you brother. (And thanks Olive for leading me here).

  4. Yetunde says:

    interestingly, this is so relevaant even for physical pain in the body . Bitterness, unforgiveness, resentments have a w) of manifesting physically in the body so much so that even medecine and science can’t help much. However, chosing to be healed, like life is optional. It takes conscious and deliberate effortam aive had all sorts of in law issues in my marraige in the past. At a point it was obvious thaat no matter how I retold how I had been wronged, it wasn’t going to change anything. When – chose healing and looked up to /od to help me discover it, it was a deliverance of some sort healing both physyical and emotional scars.

    • KlarionKall says:

      Thank God, I’m glad that you see the reality to what was said in the post, it should give further glory to God because this is what He has given us in Jesus, and His revealed word, the ability to choose healing and actually be healed, because as you said, no matter how you retold how you had been wronged it wasn’t goign to change anything. I can emphathize with you on that.

      God Bless you

  5. That was a blessing…. I am looking forward to part 2. Keep going Brother, you can make it!!!!

    • KlarionKall says:

      Thanks for stopping by, and you are right I can make it, and I am making it, through Christ’s strength. Part 2 is Thhe Choices that Heal us, I think you’ll enjoy. God bless you.

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